Child Development

1. Developmental Resources

Books

How Toddlers Thrive by Tovah P. Klein, PhD
The Emotional Life of a Toddler by Alicia F. Lieberman

2. Supporting Social/Emotional Development

Navigating Big Feelings

Video Resources for Helping Children Manage Feelings

Colour Monster– a story read aloud for young children about mixed-up feelings and lots of different feelings. Could be used as a vehicle to open up a conversation about feelings.
Grumpy Monkey – A story to read aloud together on a grumpy day
Daniel Tiger: Managing and Expressing Feelings
Sesame Street: Emotions
The Breathing Book – Mindful Breathing Exercises **Please preview all videos before watching with your child
Breathing in & Out with a Calming Visual (from the Calm App)
3 Ways to Make Stress Balls at Home (to squish and get out pent-up feelings)
Alphabreaths– The ABCs of Mindful Breathing

Books to Support the Social-Emotional Well-Being of Young Children

Worries

When Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival (ages 3-6)
Don’t Worry Bear by Greg Foley (ages 2-6)
Go Away Big Green Monster by Ed Emberly (ages 2-5)
I Will Keep You Safe and Sound by Lori Haskins Houran (ages 2-5)
Is a Worry Worrying You (ages 4-8)

Feeling Safe and Secure

On Mother’s Lap by Ann Herbert Scott, (ages 2-5)
Mushroom in the Rain by Mira Ginsberg (ages 3-6)

Separation

You Go Away by Dorothy Corey (ages 2-5)
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (ages 4-10)
In My Heart by Molly Bang (ages 4-8)

Sickness

Bear Feels Sick by Karma Wilson (ages 2-5)
How Do You Care for a Very Sick Bear? by Vanessa Bayer (ages 3 -6)
Don’t You Feel Well, Sam? by Amy Hest & Anita Jeram (ages 3-6)

Change

Some Things Change by Mary Murphy (ages 2-5)
Changes, Changes by Pat Hutchins (ages 4-8)
Waiting by Kevin Henkes (ages 3-6)

Perseverance & Resilience

The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper (ages 2-5)
Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae (ages 3-5)
The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires (ages 3-7)
Ish by Raymond Hope Reynolds (ages 4-8)

Anger

I’m Grumpy by Jennifer L. Holm & Matthew Holm (ages 1-3)
Mean Soup by Betsy Everitt (ages 2-7)
When Sophie Gets Angry, Really Really Angry by Molly Bang (ages 3-7)
Sometimes I’m Bombaloo by Rachel Vail (ages 3-7)
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst (ages 3-8)
I Was So Mad by Mercer Mayer (ages 3-7)
Anh’s Anger by Gail Silver (ages 4-7)
Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang (ages 4-7)
When Mommy Was Mad by Lynne Jonell & Petra Mathers (ages 4-8)

Happiness

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness by Carol McCloud (ages 4-9)
Happiness Doesn’t Come from Headstands (ages 4-7)

Sadness

Grumpy Pants by Claire Messer (ages 2-5)
Bob’s Blue Period by Marion Deuchars (ages 4-8)
I’m Sad by Michael Ian Black (ages 4-8)
Augustus and His Smile by Catherine Rayner (ages 3-8)

Frustration and Disappointment

The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld (ages 3-8)
It’s Tough to Lose Your Balloon by Jarrett J. Krosoczka (ages 3-5)

Feelings General

My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss (ages 1-7)
The Feelings Book by Todd Parr (ages 1-5)
The Color Monster by Anna Llenas (ages 2-6)
Glad Monster-Sad Monster by Ed Emberly & Ann Miranda (ages 3-7)
Sometimes I Feel Like a Storm Cloud by Lezlie Evans (ages 3-7)

3. Tips to Promote Parental Well-Being

Be compassionate with yourself!
These are extraordinary times, and you may feel challenged to your limits.
Cut yourself some slack. You might not be performing at your highest, and neither may your kids.
Increased crankiness, acting out and regressive behavior can be anticipated.
Find ways to nourish yourself and for self-care. This is critical.
If you become emotionally and physically depleted, you will have nothing to give to your family.
Tensions in the home will undoubtedly then escalate, making life all around notably harder.
If you’re feeling anxious, notice if you’re spending too much time absorbing news and limit your exposure.
If you can remember to breathe fully and deeply throughout the day, you can reduce the intensity of overwhelming feelings.
Are you finding time to take breaks and give yourself some alone time for replenishing?

Practical Self-Care Tips to Counter Overwhelm during Times of Chaos and Stress

Establish and maintain Structure and Routine
Support yourself with a Healthy Diet
Prioritize Sleep
Incorporate Regular Exercise & Movement Activities
Bring in some Mindfulness or Meditative Practices*
Incorporate personal, spiritual or religious rituals
Engage in Creative Pursuits or other Meaningful Activities
Get Outdoors if possible and connect with nature
Find creative ways to connect socially
Find ways to support people in need
Practice Acts of Kindness
Practice Gratitude*

What Self-Care Activities Nourish You Most?

Can you build in regular routines that uplift and support you each day?
If you’re experiencing overwhelm, know that instituting routines can be calming, organizing and emotionally regulating.
Nourishing rituals, too, can boost one’s spirit and diminish feelings of helplessness.
How will you move your body and support your physical well-being?
Moving and stretching the body can quickly shift one’s physiology and balance one’s emotions. This could include dance parties, stretching, yoga, Pilates, strength training, running or family calisthenic challenges.
Making and meeting even small wellness goals can promote improved well-being.
Are you getting adequate sleep? If not, closing your eyes and following your breathing for even a few minutes can bring some rejuvenation. Good sleep hygiene is strongly correlated with optimal mental, emotional, physical and brain functioning.
Are you able to get outside, breathe in fresh air and connect with nature? Being in nature, looking at nature or listening to the sounds of nature can calm the nervous system and rebalance one’s energy.
Meditation and Mindfulness, too, can bring about profound states of calm and grounding.
Drinking a warm or cold drink, taking an Epson salt or bubble bath, diffusing essential oils, applying scented lotions, and resting under a weighted blanket are some added means for reducing tension and swiftly shifting one’s inner state.
Are you eating foods that nourish and benefit you?
Some additional considerations for self-care:
- Read a book
- Watch a good movie
- Play a game
- Write in a journal
- Eat a good meal
- Spend quality time with a loved one

Meaningful connection with others is a means for improving mental health. How can you be creative and stay connected to others? Can you find time to connect with friends or family outside of your home via facetime, Zoom group chats, or parent coffee or cocktail hours?
In times of upheaval and loss, know that giving to others is a way to quickly counter any feelings of loss or lack.
Consider finding ongoing ways to support those in need and practice Acts of Kindness.
Initiating a Gratitude practice and recalling things to be grateful for is another powerful means for breaking free from negative thoughts and feelings.
Identifying and writing down any goals or intentions you have for quarantine, for the week,

Gratitude Practice

10 happiness-boosting questions to share at the end of the day to increase happiness and connectedness!

What did you learn today?
What made you laugh today?
What surprised you today?
What made you proud today?
What loving action did you do for someone today?
What loving action did someone do for you?
What do you feel especially grateful about today?
What did you do today to move a little closer to a goal/dream?
How did you stretch yourself further today?
What made you feel excited/inspired today?

Karen Salmansohn

4. Ways to Support Grieving Young Children

When someone important dies

It’s important to acknowledge what happened, to be honest with children and to tell them the truth.
Yet, to do so simply and sensitively, in a way they can understand and metabolize, without details that would be too graphic or frightening.
Children readily pick up on adult distress.
When they sense something upsetting has occurred, yet lack sufficient information, their imagination is bound to venture into frightening arenas, instigating rising anxiety.
While the death of a loved one can be jolting for a child, it’s vital that they have the opportunity to process the loss and participate in the grieving process.

How to tell a young child that someone special has died

You can prepare them by letting them know that something very sad has happened.
Using simple concrete terms let them know that their loved one has died.
It’s important to use the words “died”/”dead” and avoid euphemisms such as “went away” or “is sleeping,” as these phrases could be confusing for a young child, and inadvertently make them terrified about sleeping or people going away.

How to explain what death is to young children

Young children can have difficulty comprehending that death is permanent and irreversible, and can be prone to imagining that someone who has died will get better and come back to life.
Focusing on explaining the concrete, physical aspects of death can help a young child better grasp what has occurred.
You can explain that death means somebody’s body has stopped working.
That they can no longer walk or talk or eat or move anymore.
When all parts of someone’s body stop working, the body dies.
That’s what happened to ……

When a child learns of a loved one’s death

Children will benefit from an open space where they can ask questions and express their feelings.
Being able to talk about their loved one and discuss what’s occurred can be a source of healing and comfort for a child.
Yet, it can also feel too painful at times, which can propel a child to engage in avoidant and distracting behaviors.
Death can be a hard concept for a young child to grasp, and they are likely to need repeated concrete explanations over time to comprehend that their loved one will not be coming back.

How young children grieve

Young children tend to express grief in a variety of different ways and they can vacillate rapidly between different expressions of grief (e.g., from sad to excited to angry) repeatedly over time.
They might express their discomfort by laughing, making jokes or by teasing someone.
They could also become irritable, anxious, clingy, with increased worries around separation or sleep.
They could exhibit regressive behaviors (such as reverting to baby talk or having sudden toileting accidents).
They could alternately become more hyper or inhibited, and exhibit physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches.
They could also show no evident signs of grief at all.

How to support young children following loss

Following the death of a significant person in their life, a young child is bound to feel more vulnerable and destabilized.
Familiar routines can help life feel more in order, give children a capacity to predict what will happen next, and allow them to regain a semblance of control.
It can feel settling for them to hear what will be different while affirming what will stay the same.
When parents acknowledge their own authentic feelings (e.g., I’m feeling really sad right now because I’m missing…), this gives children insight and permission to express the same.
If your own upset worries your child, let them know you will be ok.
Assure them that it’s normal and ok to cry, to feel sad or worried or angry, to miss your loved one who’s died, and to want extra hugs.
Assure them that you’ll be there for them, and that you can help each other when you’re having lots of upset and missing feelings.

Listen to their questions

Are they wanting an answer to their surface question or is there an underlying worry?
Is there something they’re wanting to be reassured about?
What are they wondering?
What are they thinking and feeling about this?
Address or explore what’s at the root of their question.
It’s expectable that young children will worry that others will disappear or die too.

How to minimize ongoing anxiety (e.g., about others suddenly dying)

Let children know that people usually live for a very long time, to be very old.
Assure them your plan to be around for a very, very long time (e.g., until they are a grown up and have their own children).
Remind them that doctors have lots of different kinds of medicines to help people get better when they get sick.
Reflect on all the usual things that happen when people get sick:
- Usually when people get sick they rest at home and get better all on their own.
- Recall the many instances when this was true for them, and for other people in your family.
Reinforce the usual things that happen when people need extra help getting better:
- They go to the doctor and get medicine to get better, or sometimes they go to the hospital to get better.
- Recall the many instances when this was true for people in your family or people you know.
Are there other ways to truthfully differentiate this situation and to highlight the unusualness of this death?

What grieving children need most

Grieving children need extra comfort, care, reassurance and attention.
They need space to talk, ask questions and express their grief – through words, drawings, stories, play and conversation.
They will benefit from opportunities to feel empowered and masterful.
And from finding ways to remember, stay connected and honor their loved one in their thoughts, heart and actions.
While parenting in the midst of your own grief, your child will benefit from ongoing acknowledgment of your own hard times.

The value of rituals when grieving

Rituals are a tangible way for young children to honor and celebrate their loved one and to sustain a feeling of connection.
Doing something active and thoughtful in honor of their loved one can counter feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, overwhelming sadness and worry.
These activities could include:
- Lighting a candle and/or saying a prayer to remember their loved one
- Making a memory book or box – with photographs, stories and/or drawings
- Sharing favorite memories aloud
- Planting a tree, a plant or flowers in honor of their loved one
- Keeping something such as a picture or token to remember and feel connected to their

Stories with themes of Death, Loss, Healing and Connection

Reading stories that deal with similar real-life issues of death, loss and healing can help children make sense of their own experiences, put words to their feelings, and gain tools for coping with overwhelming and confusing emotions.

Hearing about others’ similar experiences can also diminish feelings of aloneness, promote feelings of normalcy and provide some emotional relief.

Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie (ages 4-10)
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (ages 4-10)
The Tenth Good Thing about Barney by Judith Viorst (ages 3-7)
The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr (ages 3-7)
The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise Brown & Remy Charlap (ages 3-10) loved one each day
Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs (English and Spanish) by Tomie dePaola (ages 4-10)
Ida, Always by Caron Levis (ages 4-8)
Something Very Sad Happened (ages 3-6)
Where are You? A Child’s Book about Loss by Laura Olivieri (ages 4-6)
Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley (ages 4-7)
Everett Anderson’s Goodbye by Lucille Clifton (ages 5-10)
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages, by Leo Buscaglia (ages 4-7)
Bear’s Last Journey by Udo Weingelt (ages 4-7)
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland (ages 4-10)
Always and Forever by Alan Durant (ages 3-7)
Till We Meet Again, A Children’s Book about Death and Grieving by Julie Muller (ages 4-10) (reincarnation)
I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhem (ages 3-6) (pet)

Articles

Resources for Grieving Children

5. Talking to Young Children about Race

Talking to Young Children about Race